Radio and MP3s

When I was a freshman in high school I joined the tennis team. The courts we practiced at were a 5-10 minute drive away from the school, so everyday our coaches would load us into the vans and drive us there. I remember the drives in particular, because when our practices ended it would be the heart of commute hour and getting back on the freeway was not pretty. Second, the head coach apparently loved classical music, so day after day, after those long grueling practices, he'd find his favorite classical music station and just let it play. As a young 14-15 year old who was listening to only pop and rock music, classical music was agony. I didn't mind instrumental music at the time, but classical music was an entirely different class on its own and I cringed; gripping my racket tightly until we arrived back at campus. (You have to understand that the ipod had only been recently introduced in the past year or two, so a majority of people still used CD players which were a bit cumbersome to carry around.)
I still recall my teenage opinions on classical music. "Why would you listen to something so boring? So dull?! *insert teenage sound* UGH!! It's more distracting than it is soothing!"  "I don't care what studies have shown, dad! I cannot study for a test with that playing! Turn it off! *gives dad a glare* "  Alas, my appreciation for music was crude and under developed, though I concur to this day that heavy metal is and always is a pain to hear. That's a different story though.

Jump to college; I'm commuting to campus desperately trying to remember the developmental stages of a child for my exam later that morning. I continue to flip stations because I am sick of hearing Bruno Mar's "Grenade", and I personally cannot stand Adele's voice or listen to Katy Perry's "Fireworks" one more time without wanting to scream my head off. I flip to the country station saved, but the song is too distracting...what's left?! I finally settle on a station I found the previous day. A classical music station. My mind begins to relax and I feel my muscles loosening up. I'm alert as I drive, but can focus on reciting the developmental stages without feeling too distracted either. "Thank goodness there is classical music!!"
Despite still enjoying pop music, the radio stations I preferred seem to repeat the same songs over and over. It was either that or I disliked like the artist. It agitated me and that led to my trial period with country music which I concluded was tolerable to an extent. Truly though, classical music saved me during those years of commuting. Being overly stressed with exams, presentations and projects, I couldn't spare a moment of distraction and music was always the most subtle form of distraction. Classical music, became the exception as it soothed my stressed mind and enabled me to focus on my studies. My anxieties were kept at bay as long as I had classical music.

Present time. I've taken a growing interest in oldies (Frank Sinatra, Elvis, Beatles, etc) and jazz. When it's just me in the car, I immediately flip to the jazz station and leave it there. My mom and sister are still quite surprised that I like jazz. However, there are days when I'm at home and I open my itunes radio and choose classical music over every other genre. And while I'm listening to the music, I end up smiling as I reminiscent about my teenage years and the agony classical music used to bring me. What would the teenage, moody high school me say about my taste in music? Would she be horrified? Disgusted? Whatever her question, I like to think that I'd respond by saying "Just to spite you." The truth is simple though. I'm growing older and hopefully maturing *laughs*, I have an appreciation for things I could not when I was younger because of my experiences since. I would tell my younger self "to appreciate the days you have now, but do not scoff at the world because you're young and inexperienced. You may like something and hate another thing today, but in a year or two it might be the opposite."

I seldom take my own advice.

In perhaps everyone's case, we all rarely take our own advice. For one reason or another it just happens to be so, until we have another person direct that advice back at us. Usually when I give people advice, it's because I've learned from my own experiences or have seen too much from an outsider's perspective. But there are days where my advice isn't advice. For me, it is a form of comfort and support I have given myself to pull through the more mentally and emotionally exhausting days. Basically a reminder to breathe and to take it one day at a time :)
Everyone has different circumstances, but certainly everyone deals with tough love right? Whether it be with family, friends, or lovers...the one coinciding point is that some days you just don't know how to deal with them. It's so hard to hold back from saying something crude, or from doing something hurtful, but somehow you manage to right? Tough love. We overcome that feeling and move on. But for the days that you just want to break down right there and then or explode, here's a little something I wrote out for myself that I hope will help others also fight on.

"In life, everything is about balance. And trying to achieve that balance is living through both the bad and good. Building up character, becoming wiser, maturing emotionally and mentally is a life long process. You learn to laugh during the happy times, endure the sad times and speak up when pain only hurts the process. You discover not everything in life is a given and you fight with all you got to prove you deserve it. While the things you take for granted, you discover you must cherish and be grateful for constantly because it can disappear in an instant.
People will tear you down and people will lift you up. And you will constantly do the same in return; whether it be intentionally or not. All I can say is, if you're aware of this, try to be the better person. Be the one who can love and endure. Be the person who can give a helping hand when needed. Be the person who knows when to say "No. This is wrong." and refuses to aid someone because it enables them rather than grow. Life will be horrible in return more than often, so balance it out and be the better person for others and more importantly--yourself."